“Just ignore it.” Three little well-intentioned words adults have said and generations of kids have heard about bullying.
Well, it's time to ignore that advice. Why?
“Just ignore it” loosely translates into:
• “It’s not that big a deal.”
• “You're tougher than that.”
• “It will just go away if you pretend it isn't happening.”
• “It is just part of growing up.”
In other words, “there’s nothing you can do.” And that’s just not true. When a kid tells an adult about bullying, it’s a great opportunity to talk about what can be done. It’s a chance to find responses that are appropriate for the situation and the kid’s comfort level.
Does anything go away by ignoring it? Homework doesn’t. Bills don’t. And neither does bullying.
THE END OF BULLYING BEGINS WITH YOU! Founded in 2006, PACER’s National Bullying Prevention Center actively leads social change, so that bullying is no longer considered an accepted childhood rite of passage. PACER provides innovative resources for students, parents, educators, and others, and recognizes bullying as a serious community issue that impacts education, physical and emotional health, and the safety and well-being of students.
Author
- Julie Hertzog, Director, PACER's National Bullying Prevention Center
- PACER became involved in bullying prevention efforts in response to research that indicated students with disabilities are bullied at a significantly higher rate than their peers. While many of PACER's resources have an emphasis on students with disabilities—they are designed to by used by all students—those with disabilities and those without disabilities; those that are bullied, those that witness bullying and those that bully.
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Julie: We have been dealing with a bullying situation at school between groups of kids. This has been ongoing for the past few months. We keep going to the teachers and the principal, but nothing is changing. The school does not want all the parties to know and so are not telling the parents of the children involved. The parents are finding out from the children on a daily basis of the threats and fights.
ReplyDeleteOne example of this happened last week. My son came home very upset. He told me that one of the bullys threatened to beat up one of my sons friends after school the next day. My son told me and together we called the principal. When I went in to follow up with the principal, she said that the child's parent really doesn't need to know as the problem will have been solved. That parent would have never been told of the threat had our family not told her about it. These issues remain ongoing.
Today, I was called by the principal because my son wanted to go home. He went to the nurses office saying he was "sick". Come to find out, the same bully had punched him in the face during recess. The principal called me when my son went down to the nurse and said she had planned on calling me anyway. I told her that we cannot continue to have this behavior for the next few weeks and that my son was not feeling safe on a number of levels. She said she didn't have an answer, but would have one by Tuesday.
Up until now, I have been willing to see how she has been handling it, figuring it would stop. I am not trusting that to happen as it seems to continue to escalate. I want to be able to communicate to her what my expectations are regarding his safety, but have not been able to find a guide of what to ask for. Do you have any ideas of what we are entitled to ask for from our schools, as parents and how I should lay out my request?
Thank you for your advice.
Overwhelmed Parent